ROAD REALM I'm leaving for Texas tomorrow and will be gone all week so things may be a bit slow around here until I get back. I'll try to get in a post while I'm away but my parents use the Internet equivalent of smoke signals---i.e., a 28.8K dial-up modem. But to be honest, I was amazed when they got that. It'll be my main mission to try and convince them to get a DSL modem while I'm there. Has anyone seen the story about designer Vera Wang? Seems a client who was going to be a bridesmaid in her friend's wedding went to Vera's shop to get a dress. During the fitting she stepped on a needle and is now suing Vera for two million dollars. Her lawyer says she left it in her foot a week before she had it removed by 'surgery'. Seriously, I have to question how this woman could walk around with a needle in her foot for a whole week. Or why. Vera is liable to some degree because it is her responsibility to provide a safe needleless environment for her customers, but I can't imagine how this case could have any punitive damages, especially amounting to two million, particularly when the woman was out walking around with the needle in her foot for an entire week before she did anything about it. I have to admit the media is the worst place to try and obtain any facts, especially about legal issues. It consistently distorts events in an attempt to sensationalize news to increase sales and advertising revenue. By far the most famous example of this is the McDonald's coffee case, in which a $.49 cent coffee scalded an old lady and she received jury damages of $2.7 million. The case became the poster child of tort reform. But the media, as it is so wont to do, did not report the complete story. If you would like the full set of facts concerning the McDonald's coffee caper, please click here, here, or here. Not so cut and dry now is it? That's why as outrageous as this Vera Wang incident sounds I have to reserve final judgment, because I simply don't trust our press to report the entire story. If I come across any briefs or other filings related to this case I'll be sure to post that info in future updates.
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/25/2003 03:00:00 PM| |

 
Damn Yankees Look, I'll be the first to admit that this may sound unbecoming, and it's not something I'm proud of, but I have an inherent distrust of Yankees. I've never had the slightest desire to live or spend any significant time in the North, and when I have visited there it was always with a certain reluctance. It's not that I have any visceral antipathy for Northerners. After all, the Civil War [officially] ended 138 years ago last month---and besides, my ancestors didn't even get to the US until the early 1900s when they finally threw in the towel on hardscrabble olive farming or whatever it was they did in their Sicilian village. 'Some of my best friends' are from the North. Yet I can't deny the feeling is there. A recent post by Charles over at Why Read This? concerning the Chinese manifestation of this very issue got me thinking about this again and it's a topic that has fascinated me for quite some time. I grew up in three states of the American Deep South: Louisiana, Alabama and Texas. I did not leave the South until the day I enlisted in the US Army at eighteen years of age. Yet, inexplicably, I do not have even a trace of a Southern accent and never have; I do however use Southern terms like ya'll, ain't, and fixin'. People tell me they could never have guessed where I'm from just by listening to me. I'm the only one in my family whose way of speaking doesn't betray my native place---whether it's the uniquely bizarre, New Jersey-esque patois of New Orleans represented by my mother's side, or the backwoods Southern Alabama drawl of my father and his clan. So while I do consider myself a Southerner it is a rather ambivalent acknowledgement. I don't drive a pick-up truck, I believe the confederate flag is an abhorrent legacy and does not belong on any state flag, and I hate country music (except for Johnny Cash). But I like shooting guns and enjoy all that outdoor good ol' boy stuff. I doubt I could ever live in the South again; although people there truly are friendly and hospitable to a degree not seen anywhere else in the US, I find the South and its people's attitudes stultifying and exasperatingly provincial. At the same time, I retain that resentment that I believe is inculcated to some degree in every Southerner in that I have no intention of living in the North, at least that part of the Union which took up significant arms against the South. I think that's why I have adopted the West Coast, particularly Oregon. It's neutral territory.
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/24/2003 05:34:00 PM| |

 
Adventures in Recycling We really love the place we call home. For the past two years we've been living in University Village, which is the family housing complex of my university. Not only are the grounds beautifully maintained and the apartments well-designed and modern, it is also very convenient---just four miles from school and right on the bus line. Best of all, it is truly international in character. Students from all over the world live here, but Chinese are especially well-represented. Oftentimes I like to lie in bed in the mornings and let the sounds of humanity from outside filter through---I am transported back to China and I can hear strains of the entire Chinese diaspora: Mandarin, Shanghainese, Cantonese and even a dialect every now and then I can't recognize. Many of the Chinese graduate students have started families and they've brought their parents over to help mind the children. I think the old folks must feel pretty lonely and isolated---their kids are off in school all day, they don't know English and they don't drive so they're pretty much stuck with the babies. The San Gabriel Valley, an area of Los Angeles with all the Chinese shops and restaurants, is about 20 miles away so they can only go on weekends when their kids can take them. I often see them outside by the playground where they congregate and socialize while the kiddies play. They also take walks every night after 9:00pm when the Mandarin soaps on cable end. Some are surprisingly industrious---they've gone into the recycling business. There's a recycling center a few minutes walk away that pays money for aluminum cans, plastics and glass. Just about every day I see the same two old couples pushing shopping carts loaded with garbage bags stuffed full of cans and bottles. I don't know where they find all this stuff, but I guarantee if you leave an empty six pack out by the garbage area at night it is long gone the next morning---I know, I've put one there to see. I ran into one of those old ladies the other day at the center when I returned our cans---I asked her where she is from and she replied in heavily accented Mandarin. Even my wife can't really understand her. I'm pretty sure she said Henan and from her accent and mannerisms it is obvious she is from the sticks. I watched her as she interacted with the guys at the recycling center. She doesn't know the first word of English so she just spoke to them in Chinese and they replied back to her in a mixture of Spanish and English. Amazingly it was a rather fluid interchange considering the circumstances. I don't know much Spanish, but her Chinese and their English responses pretty well matched up. She's also taught them some Chinese: Ni hao...zaijian...pingzi (hello, goodbye, bottle). One of the guys who works there noticed me speaking with her and he asked me about her. I told him she is from the Chinese countryside. He said something quite interesting---he's from a peasant family in Guatemala and he knew right away she was from the country---countryfolk are the same all over the world. He believes that's why he and the other guy who runs the recycling center gets along so well with her and the others... John's post about Lu Xun the other day reminded me of a book I bought last summer in Beijing but had neglected until now. It's called ˭��ս ³Ѷ:��ʱ�ڹ���³Ѷ������ [Who Challenges Lu Xun: New Period Debates on Lu Xun]. Published just last year, the book is a collection of post Cultural Revolution critical essays on Lu Xun, hence 'New Period'. It's kind of become my summer project to read this book, but I'm wondering if anyone out there has already read it. If so, please tell me if it's worth my time. Otherwise, I have better things to do.
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/22/2003 01:25:00 PM| |

 
While food has been a minor (though important) part of this blog it is a major part of my life. In fact, a lot of what little TV I watch comes courtesy of the Food Network. The ratings gravy train on that channel centers around Emeril Lagasse---the "Bam!!!" guy. He's a fairly decent chef who made a name for himself in my hometown of New Orleans, by far America's culinary capital. I watch his show now and again and I've learned some things. He really stresses heat control. Most of my experience has been with Sichuan cuisine, particularly stir-fry, which requires very high heat. So I have a tendency to want to go full blast even on Western dishes. I think most Americans do no matter what we're cooking, because he frequently admonishes the audience to turn down the heat: "That's what these are for", he'll say, holding up the knobs he has just pulled off the stove. I'd watch his show even more if it were not for the highly annoying studio audience. Where in the world does he find these people? They are the most irritating yahoos ever gathered in one room. Every freakin' time Emeril mentions he's going to add garlic or chili pepper to a dish these nitwits go decibel like he's announced they've won the lottery. For crying out loud, people, he's only adding a spice. These things have been around since the dawn of time. I've used them all my life. It's nothing to go hogwild over. Do these knuckleheads eat such buttery bland tasteless glop that they have to go orgasmic because he "bams" a few pinches of cayenne? Maybe now those of you reading this who were fortunate enough not to have been raised on the American diet can appreciate what a sorry state Middle America's palate is in. Somebody pass me the salt...
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/20/2003 03:40:00 PM| |

 
I�d hate to be this guy�s lawyer. His name is Maher �Mike" Hawash, a Muslim and a naturalized US citizen of 14 years born in Jordan. He lives with his Oregon-born wife and children in Hillsboro, a Portland, Oregon suburb. This is a bizarre case that I�m including here because it has both an Oregon and a China connection, as well as legal implications that I find quite worrisome. The FBI detained him as �material witness� on March 20, 2003 and held him in a high security federal prison for over five weeks before filing any charges. You can easily find information about him by doing a quick google search, but as his case presently stands the US government accuses him of Conspiracy to Wage War Against the US. They�ve tied him to the so-called �Portland Six�, an alleged terrorist cell operating out of Portland, Oregon. Evidently members of this group, one of whom apparently speaks fluent Chinese, went to China in late October 2001 coinciding with Hawash, who was there at the same time on what he claims was a �business trip�. Interestingly, records show one of the Portland Six sharing a hotel room with Hawash on October 30, 2001 in Urumqi, capital of China�s Xinjiang Autonomous Region. Xinjiang is also the home of the majority of China's Muslim population, and although Urumqi is primarily a Han Chinese city (or perhaps because it is) it has been the scene of frequent anti-Chinese incidents by Muslim Uighurs. It is not my purpose here to comment on Hawash�s innocence or guilt, but I am troubled by the way the US government is prosecuting his case. Take that photo above for instance. The FBI released that undated photo to the media shortly after the FBI finally filed charges against Hawash. It is not his current appearance (see left), nor was it at the time of the events leading to his arrest, but in the eyes of any potential jury pool it undoubtedly marks him as the stereotypical Muslim fanatic. I consider this kind of conduct unacceptably prejudicial, but it seems par for the course these days at the Department of Justice. The Attorney General of the United States, John Ashcroft, has provided a poor example to his subordinates by consistently manipulating public opinion in commenting to the media about trials in progress. In fact a federal judge reprimanded him for failing to comply with a gag order as recently as April 18. His most egregious conduct was in the John Walker �American Taliban� case. Even before the convening of a grand jury, Ashcroft made statements like: �We may never know why [Walker] turned his back on our country and our values, but we cannot ignore that he did.� And: �Youth is not absolution for treachery, and personal self-discovery is not an excuse to take up arms against one�s country.� Not only are these kinds of media declarations totally inappropriate because of their detrimental effects on the defendant�s chance of a fair trial, but they in all likelihood violate standards of legal ethics. The ABA has formulated Model Rules of Professional Conduct that the Federal Government has adopted in its Code of Federal Regulations. The relevant ones here are Rules 3.6 and 3.8 (the latter rule especially pertains to prosecutors). I believe these are important enough to quote in full: 3.6 (a) A lawyer who is participating or has participated in the investigation or litigation of a matter shall not make an extrajudicial statement that the lawyer knows or reasonably should know will be disseminated by means of public communication and will have a substantial likelihood of materially prejudicing an adjudicative proceeding in the matter. 3.8 (f) the prosecutor shall�except for statements that are necessary to inform the public of the nature and extent of the prosecutor's action and that serve a legitimate law enforcement purpose, refrain from making extrajudicial comments that have a substantial likelihood of heightening public condemnation of the accused and exercise reasonable care to prevent investigators, law enforcement personnel, employees or other persons assisting or associated with the prosecutor in a criminal case from making an extrajudicial statement that the prosecutor would be prohibited from making under Rule 3.6 or this Rule. The Attorney General is the top law enforcement official in the United States. It defies belief to hold that his media comments did not 'heighten the public condemnation' of John Walker. As one with the benefit of a legal education I know all too well the incredible power of the Federal Government in pursuing its prosecutorial objectives. If the Feds ever decide to go after you they have virtually unlimited financial/personnel resources to do so. That is why it is of the utmost importance that our legal system maintains strict procedural integrity without even the slightest appearance of impropriety. It is the only safeguard most of us �little people� have. Mike Hawash certainly has many questions to answer about his activities. Read his arrest affadavit here. It is a 42-page document, though it contains surprisingly little specific data about Hawash. I�d be surprised if even 10% of it concerns him. But as an American citizen he deserves the opportunity to answer those questions in a just, unbiased legal proceeding. It is his constitutional right to have his day in court. Tactics like the ones employed by the FBI seriously call into doubt Hawash's ability to receive a fair trial, and John Ashcroft, as this nation's chief prosecutor, fails his ethical and legal responsibility to prohibit such behaviour .
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/20/2003 05:58:00 AM| |

 
The Greatest Day of Law School...Ever There was a very small group of us in our recently graduated class who engaged in various mischief in order to break up the mindnumbing monotony of law school. Three of us to be exact (see photo below). We conducted a number of capers---one of which caused a minor uproar in the California legal education community, went national in scale and even reached the chambers of the United States Supreme Court. For obvious reasons the precise nature of that operation must forever remain classified. But I do have authority to divulge our other most remarkable coup---The Gallon Challenge. February 7, 2002---a date which will live in infamy. The day of the Gallon Challenge. An event which forever changed the lives of everyone fortunate enough to witness it. I can't even remember how this thing got started. Anyway, that's not important. The important thing is on that date we had two contestants (both fellow law classmates) each attempt to drink one gallon of whole milk within one hour without yacking. Your humble blogger, along with two other classmates, took the lead in organizing the festivities. Attendance was by 'invite only' to about 25 carefully selected classmates from whom we requested a $5 donation each to provide a prize purse; all gladly kept their end of the bargain except for one weasel. We originally had a field of three challengers, but at the last moment the third competitor, who I had dubbed "The People's Champion", unceremoniously backed out. We guaranteed each contestant a $50 appearance fee with the remainder of the purse going to any winner. The lineup set, fellow instigator "KJ" and I went to the nearest Ralph's grocery (very fitting name for this particular day as it turned out) and purchased two ice-cold gallon containers of whole milk. To ensure fairness we made certain the milk was of the same manufacturer, expiration date and lot number. At the request of the contestants, we also purchased a bag of nacho-flavored Doritos. Finally, at the appointed hour we adjourned to the field of competition---in order to escape prying eyes at the law school we went to a nearby commons. I served as the designated timekeeper and when my watch indicated 4:30 I notified the warriors they could begin drinking. Both challengers (I'll call them the Tortoise and the Hare) were confident of success and each employed different strategies. The Hare jumped right out the gate taking large gulps at a steady pace. I called out time intervals after every 10 minutes, and by 25 minutes he was almost 3/4 done with his gallon. His roommate had told him the secret to success was an enzyme contained in salt. So this madman was out there licking his forearms in an attempt to digest the salt from his sweat. The Tortoise took his time---he hadn't even finished half his gallon by the 30-minute mark. He believed that the way to victory was to prevent sensory overload of the stomach---so not only did he drink slower, but he ate the Doritos---to fake out his digestive system, I suppose. At about 40 minutes glazed looks and uncomfortable silence replaced the confident miens and tough talk of our heroes. The Hare had slowed considerably by this point but had less than a quarter of a gallon to go. His complexion, normally very pale to begin with, had lightened by many shades of white. Then, at about 48 minutes he let out a tremendous jet of fluid. What happened next was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. The Tortoise, upon seeing the Hare toss his cookies, raised his hands in victory and began whooping it up. The Hare reminded the Tortoise that he had yet to comply with the terms of the event---finish the gallon within one hour without expelling it. At this point rage and paranoia set in between both lads. They began screaming and cursing each other. Each questioned the other's manhood. It's like they had become possessed. Finally the Tortoise shouted one last "F-you!" at his opponent and practically drained his jug, still about 1/5 full, in several gulps. This is at 54 minutes. He then flung the empty container on the ground with the greatest panache I've ever witnessed. But his proud demeanor was short-lived. Not more than a minute later the reality of his bold yet foolhardy act set in and he fled the field, ducking behind a nearby tree for his first hurl. Some among the audience were dismayed at this lack of courage and cat-called. Others followed the Tortoise to get a better view. Not long after this the Hare finished his gallon as well. He then let out a major sympathy boot upon seeing what had become of the Tortoise. By this time the Tortoise had regained some of his faculties. Feeling a sense of shame, he rejoined his comrade on the field and what followed was about fifteen minutes of the most amazing boot-for-boot high-projectile, massive fluid synchro-yacking I've ever witnessed. No holds barred. At the end, with both men completely spent, the real work began. The Committee had to decide upon a victor. Both of my comrades initially wanted to declare the match a draw, but I felt that not only would this be disappointing to the spectators, it would be even more dishonest to our noble competitors. This wasn't a soccer match I reminded them. We're Americans damn it. We don't settle for ties. I argued that first place should go to the Tortoise---not only did he finish his gallon first, he was also the last to yack. So we declared the Tortoise the winner. He received an extra $25. The Hare was furious, arguing for a draw because neither competitor had finished the gallon within one hour without hurling. But our decision final, the Committee awarded the prizes and retired from the field. The Hare stewed for several days (pun!), but eventually put it behind him. Besides, in a match such as this, a little controversy is always desirable. It may be just the thing to spur a rematch at a future class reunion. The event has since become legendary amongst our classmates and soon afterwards I noted to my fellow organizers that although only roughly 25 spectators attended, by the time our class holds its 30th reunion all 333 graduates will swear they were there. That commons came to hold a special significance for me. For the remainder of law school I would often go there early mornings before the crowds of students arrived. The quiet, hallowed grounds were the perfect place for the pensive contemplative reflection so necessary in getting myself composed for the day's tasks. The dorito-stained yacks of the Tortoise were visible until the annual spring rainy season over one month later. Even better, students stretched out and lounged all over the lawn, ignorant of what had transpired there only hours and days before. Draw what you will from the above tale, but never again will I lie down on an unaccounted-for piece of earth. We decided a Memorial was appropriate and on February 13, 2002 we established one based on my suggested design. It is still visible to this day, but only if you know what to look for and precisely where to look; in fact the law school commencement took place on that commons. I did not attend, but my fellow committee members said they were able to gain strength by gazing at the Memorial while the ceremonies droned on (and on). Postscript: Apparently the Gallon Challenge has become quite popular since our version held in February 2002. I remember doing several google searches at the time but not finding much in the way of information. In preparing this post I again conducted a search and found that Gallon Challenges are EVERYWHERE these days. Unfortunately we did not record the moment on film (the contestants refused permission) but plenty others have. The best by leaps and bound is here. PLEASE DO NOT VISIT THAT LINK if you are easily offended or have a weak stomach. Below is a photo of the three organizers; from l-r: Prince Roy, KJ, and Brother Carpetbagger. At the far right with arm raised in triumph is the "Human Squirrel" who did not attend the Gallon Challenge, but without whose superhuman efforts there would be no Memorial. We are standing at the base of the Memorial after concluding a special ceremony in honor both of our graduations and that great event.

- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/16/2003 09:30:00 AM| |

 
Uh...OK...You Want Fries With That??? I had arrived in Taiwan that June not knowing a word of Chinese. I had completed my four-year stint in the US Army the previous January and would have some time on my hands---I wasn't due to begin at the University of Oregon until the coming September. While in the military I frequented a Chinese restaurant near my post in Lawton, OK. The owners were a family who had immigrated to the US from Taiwan. We became very close over my three years in Lawton. Near the end of my enlistment I told them that I wanted to learn Chinese more than anything else in the world. They suggested I enroll at the Mandarin Training Center of Taiwan Normal University. I could stay at their unoccupied apartment in a Taipei suburb. This was too great an opportunity to pass up, and with the help of their relatives still in Taipei I arrived in Taiwan and duly enrolled. I threw myself into my studies---not only did I go to MTC in the mornings, but I signed up for afternoon classes at the Mandarin Daily News. I was in class four hours a day, five days a week. I immersed myself in the Chinese language environment---I kept my association with other foreigners to a bare minimum and made as many Chinese friends as possible---did loads of language exchanges, went to sleep listening to Chinese radio through my Walkman; the whole nine yards. I made rapid progress, and had outstanding teachers at both schools. I consider myself very fortunate in that respect. And by beginning the study of Chinese in a Chinese environment I was able to avoid many of the pitfalls that foreign learners face when they study Chinese in their own countries. For instance, tones. The four tones of Mandarin Chinese have always been fairly unproblematic for me---I believe this is because I was able to internalize them very early by hearing them in constant use in my surroundings. They have always seemed somewhat natural to me; in fact, when Chinese ask me why I learned Chinese, like they invariably do, I tell them it is the melodic tonal qualities of the language that attracted me from a very young age. I've studied Chinese for many years now, and I still consider Mandarin Chinese to be one of the most beautiful sounding languages on earth. I think many Westerners come to study Chinese because they find the written language especially appealing---in that sense maybe I am somewhat unique---for me it was always about the sounds. So I ended up spending three months that summer in Taiwan. As it turned out, one of the employees of the restaurant back in Oklahoma was visiting her parents in the southeastern city of Taitung. She invited me to go see them and I jumped at the chance because I hadn't been out of Taipei my whole time in Taiwan. Eastern Taiwan is one of the most unspoiled, beautiful places in the world. Taiwan has very high mountains, and on the east coast they practically meet the sea, resulting in breathtaking scenery. I took the train both ways and had a great time. I was rather proud of myself because I had made all the travel arrangements all by myself---at the time of this trip I had only been studying Chinese for about eight weeks. So on the way back to Taipei a young Taiwanese guy sitting next to me struck up a conversation in Chinese. It turns out he had just gotten out of the military himself. We went through the usual conversation starters---those of you who've been to China will know exactly what I mean: Was I American? How long had I been in Taiwan? Did I like Taiwan? Did I think Chinese girls were beautiful? Could I use chopsticks? Did I like Chinese food? So on this last question I give my usual answers---I like dumplings (shuijiao), beef noodle soup, gong bao chicken, etc. Then I remembered a great dish I had in Taitung---a local specialty. So I said I liked Taitung chaofen. Everyone is listening in by this time, and the whole carriage just busts out laughing. I made a mental note and moved on, but I figured something was up. The rest of the trip passed uneventfully. When I got back to my Taipei home I made a beeline for the dictionary. The reason for the hilarity became clear in an instant. Can you guess? Yep, it's those damn tones that I know so well ;>) There are four tones in Mandarin Chinese and a sound will have an entirely different meaning depending on its tone. Thus, I thought I said that I liked fried rice noodles 炒粉 (chao fen3). What I actually said was that I liked to eat 炒粪 (chao fen4), or 'fried shit'. So there you have it, at once my most humorous and embarrassing 'learning Chinese story'. I'm sure the rest of you have some doozys of your own so fess up!!!
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/14/2003 04:12:00 PM| |

 
Poagao really hits the nail on the head. He's been seething lately about how SARS has made Taiwan its bitch. He's furious and rightly so. This is first class invective. Simply breathtaking stuff. Some highlights:

...A dentist in Kaohsiung died of...[SARS], and nobody knows how he got it. I'll tell you how: some jerk-off who was supposed to be in quarantine decided to get his or her teeth cleaned after a day of shopping and public transportation-riding. The government says these people face "hefty fines" like the student who decided passing his chemistry exam was more important than people's lives...I'd like to take a baseball bat to all of the self-centered mouth-breathers who knowingly spread this disease and cost other people their lives... ...There were about a dozen other people in the...theater, but they still managed to distract me from the movie by talking through their masks and making phone calls. I had to wave my hand in front of one phone guy's face to get him to shut the hell up. Probably all quarantine-breaking idiots, the way they were acting. it's that kind of disregard for other people, that lethal combination of selfishness and stupidity that has made this society such an easy target...Taiwan really has no excuse except for bad government management, lack of measures enforcement and rampant individual disregard for one's fellow man. It's devastating to see the havoc a few assholes can wreak in such a situation... ...It's just pitiful that even a small, relatively undeveloped nation like Vietnam can deal with SARS, wipe it off their map in a matter of weeks, while here our society is so full of selfish, ignorant people, unmotivated by an ineffective government, that we can go from a good chance of eradicating this thing to practically an epidemic. All by ourselves... ...we've got idiots ignoring quarantine. Probably over half of those quarantined have decided that their business meetings, classes, shopping and other trivial social engagements are much more important to cancel just because it might kill a few innocent people...it just pisses me off to no end when a few mouth breathers put an entire nation at risk just for their own trivial, momentary convenience....

I can sense all the China bashers out there now just licking their chops, salivating at the chance to chalk this up to some inherent flaw in Chinese society such that Chinese lack any sense of civic responsibility. Maybe it's because they use characters instead of an alphabet. Well, let me head you off at the pass right now: China/Taiwan doesn't have a lock on inconsiderate, self-absorbed a-holes. Do any of you really think that if the US or other Western countries were as brutally hit by SARS people here would willingly obey quarantine? One of the reasons Toronto found itself on the WHO's travel list in the first place is because some jackasses couldn't bother to stay in isolation. What the West does have that China/Taiwan lack is efficient legal enforcement. And as far as SARS goes we've also been incredibly lucky. That makes all the difference in the world. But don't believe for one minute that folks here are imbued with some kind of social consciousness in which they'll sacrifice personal convenience for the common good. People (in LA at least) don't even use their freakin' turn signals for crying out loud. Like Poagao, I also find the self-centeredness/absorbtion of so many people these days incomprehensible. That's why I was only half in jest when I stated that if SARS ever does reach epidemic proportions in the US, don't blame the Chinese; blame law students (see 4/21/03). What I've seen in the past three years of students' general lack of regard for their fellow classmates' well-being has totally dispelled any illusions I once had about our capacity to act in any way but blatant self-interest.
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/13/2003 02:45:00 PM| |

 
Today's Recipe Sichuan Hongshao Doufu (Sichuan Braised Tofu) one container (14oz) soft tofu---cut in cubes one (heaping) teaspoon douban jiang one green onion (chopped) two teaspoons soy sauce (superior light) salt (to taste) chicken or veg bouillon powder (1/2 teaspoon) one teaspoon corn starch 3/4 cup water INSTRUCTIONS: add two-three tablespoons of oil in wok. High heat. Add douban jiang. Mix well in oil. Add tofu. Stir gently to avoid breaking the tofu cubes. Add soy sauce, salt and bouillon. After a couple of minutes add water. The water should not submerge the tofu, but should be enough to cover about 2/3 of the tofu---so try about 3/4 of a cup---maybe one cup. When the mixture reaches a boil dissolve corn starch in about one tablespoon of water and add to wok to thicken the sauce. When it reaches your desired consistency then place in large bowl. Garnish top of dish with green onions. Serve with rice. COMMENTS: This is a very easy dish to prepare and quite tasty! I've offered the vegetarian version but you could also use meat if you wish. I'd recommend 1/4 lb. of ground pork or turkey. If so, add at the first stage after the douban jiang. You may need to use a bit more douban jiang. I've mentioned this before but there are two main secrets to Sichuan cuisine. Well, really three, but I choose to ignore the infamous numbing spice huajiao [Sichuan peppercorn]. The other two are douban jiang and salt. There are many varieties of douban jiang to choose from, but the best I've used is the one by Lee Kum Kee. Sichuanese actually make it themselves, and though homemade version is best most of us can't do it. As for soy sauce, I use Pearl River Bridge brand. For this dish you want a light soy sauce---use sheng chou wang (superior light). If you can't find it then substitute your favorite light soy. The green onion in this dish is for garnish, so you don't need to use the whole onion. I like green onion so I do. For a somewhat more sophisticated flavor than just a raw green onion you may want to try the following: in a skillet heat 1-2 teaspoons of sesame oil. Then flash sear the green onion in the sesame oil---do not overcook---maybe no more than 20 seconds on very high heat. The goal is to allow the oil to penetrate the onion while retaining the crispiness. Then add to the tofu dish as a garnish. Let me know how this dish works for you. Bon Appetit!!!
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/13/2003 01:04:00 AM| |

 
Mother Nature has visited with a vengeance. Tornadic activity is a rite of Spring in many parts of the US and this year appears to be no different. My friend Ben, the American from Kansas City who has his own Japanese translation business, was right in the thick of it just the other day---tornadoes there destroyed scores of homes and killed over 40 people. Thankfully he and his family are OK and their homes are undamaged, but more storms are forecast for the entire Midwest. The Chinese term for 'tornado' is ���� longjuanfeng. It is quite poetic---a 'sweeping dragon wind'. I read once where the US has the most tornadoes of any country in the world. I know China has tornadoes but I wonder if anyone could tell me which area of China has the most. I am from the South and tornadoes were a way of life growing up, especially where we lived at the time which was in the area known as 'Tornado Alley'. I remember in one three-day period we had 11 tornado warnings. I'd love to see a tornado---from a safe distance of course. They have an awesome magnificence that forcefully underscores the power of Nature; however, I was absolutely terrified of them when I was a boy. I've never seen a tornado, but I've heard a couple. The last time was when I was about nine---we were living in an apartment complex and we saw the warning alert on TV so we all ran and huddled in the bathtub. After about five minutes something that sounded like a huge freight train roared overhead. I honestly thought that was it. But we were lucky. The tornado took off part of the roof but everyone was unharmed. Sadly the storm killed a woman about one mile from us. I guess all those tornadoes growing up deeply affected me because I still dream about them to this day.
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/10/2003 04:46:00 AM| |

 
I finished up my exams Tuesday so I am basically killing time. It's nice to sleep in (and not feel guilty). It would take something pretty special to get me back on campus at this point, but that's precisely what happened yesterday afternoon. The East Asian Languages Department had a special visitor: the poet Bei Dao. Currently the Mackey poet-in-residence at Beloit College in Wisconsin, he came and gave a talk about his role in the underground literature movement in China during the 1970s and 1980s. Not many people showed up, unfortunately. About 15. I was the only non-grad student there and one of only three non-Chinese other than Professor Theodore Huters, who arranged the presentation. I had forgotten what a weird self-contained little world it is in which literature grad students live. A part of it myself for 2.5 years, I combined a pun once that works in both English and Japanese to capture the essence I felt about the field after a certain point in time: 'Shiterature' and 'Ben-gaku' ('literature' in Japanese is 'bungaku' and ben can mean 'shit' among other things). Sorry for the vulgarity. It's too bad I can't link Chinese to it somehow and make it a trifecta. Little help? One of my best pals from grad school is a fancy pants Japanese translator who started his own company and is amazingly successful. He's from Kansas City and his name is Ben. So I always called him Ben-ben (in Chinese ben means 'stupid'---hence Ben-ben= 'stupid shit'). Anyways, I digress; back to Bei Dao. He read us three as yet unpublished poems. The one I liked the best is called Hei se ditu (Black Map). It's about his last trip to Beijing a year or so ago to make his goodbyes with his dying father. On the one hand I'm glad some exiled artists are finally allowed to return to China; on the other hand Bei Dao could not leave the city of Beijing nor could he meet with any public media or make any appearances. Unfortunately, I still cannot input Chinese on this PC laptop but I can do so on my Mac desktop. I transcribed 'Black Map' and am willing to forward it to anyone who would like it, but it is in Chinese. Email me if you want it.
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/08/2003 03:55:00 PM| |

 
I've got what I consider an eclectic taste in music. I enjoy all kinds from classical (guitar) to experimental techno. That's why I generally listen to KXLU Los Angeles. It's a station at Loyola University and it's run entirely by student DJs. They play nothing but the cutting edge. You can stream it online. But when it comes down to it I'm still a punk rocker at heart. There's something undeniably liberating about blitzkrieg maximum rock and roll. You can listen to one of my all-time favorite songs here. Don't worry, the song is under one minute. But it's pure brilliance. The lyrics are superb. Everytime I see/hear someone do something indescribably stupid I think of these words. The guy I linked to, Breyan Strickler, is an English grad student at Penn State. He actually uses the song in a course he teaches---click here. You English-teaching types in China (or anywhere) may be able to use this song in one of your classes too. I hope one of you guys contact him---he says it addresses a 'number of themes' but I could only identify one: Hare-brained numbskulls, guns and lawnmowers don't mix. Truth really is stranger than fiction---Jello saw a newspaper clipping and this song practically wrote itself.
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/08/2003 04:27:00 AM| |

 

I invented a cocktail all by myself that I've enjoyed for the past couple of years. The beauty is in the simplicity. Take one can of ice-cold Diet Mt. Dew (12 oz) and pour into a large cup. Then add one shot of your favorite vodka. Stir. Voila---enjoy! This drink offers the best of both worlds and it's quite tasty. You have the alcohol of the vodka and the mega-caffeine for which Mt. Dew is justly famous. You'll be raring to go after a couple of these. I suppose you could use regular Mt. Dew but I only drink diet. Once you get used to the taste of diet drinks regular just tastes too sweet. Now let's see RacingMix's Wilson try that with his green tea. 'Green tea' indeed. I wonder if I should try to sell it to the cocktail jernts here in LA. You won't believe what some people will pay for snob appeal. The going rate in LA at the trendy establishments is $15 per drink. I owe some $40K in law school loans that I have to start repaying soon, so I need to sell 2667 of these. How many can I put YOU down for?
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/07/2003 10:46:00 PM| |

 
KISS ME I'M ITALIAN!!! One of the benefits of having Italian ancestry is the access to family recipes passed down for generations. I'm thinking about whipping up a pot of my favorite of those recipes, our top-secret pasta sauce. It's a low maintenance dish that suits today's schedule---I've got to study for my last law school exam tomorrow morning and this dish takes care of itself on the stove all day. In fact, the longer it simmers the better the flavor. My great-grandmother supposedly brought the recipe when she emigrated from Sicily, but I've made a few refinements---the original is quite meat-heavy and I've cut most of that out. Not completely though. A pork chop does subtle wonders for a tomato sauce. Although I adore numerous things about China's Han culture I have to be honest that its noodle dishes have never blown me away. However the Uighurs, an ethnic minority based in China's northwestern Xinjiang province, make one of the most amazing dishes on earth called chao pian(r) (sometimes you'll see it as chao mian pian). It is nothing if not a direct relation to Italian spaghetti as we now know it---it has a tomato-based sauce and uses virtually the same ingredients---spices, garlic, onion and bell peppers. About the only difference is that the Uighurs use lamb whereas Italians prefer pork or chicken. I enjoyed this wonderful dish daily throughout my travels in Xinjiang, never losing enthusiasm for it. If you ever try it you'll immediately notice the similarities with its Italian cousin. This gets me wondering about the relationship between Uighur and Italian pastas. The Spanish conquerors of Mexico first introduced the tomato to Europe in the 16th century, and it travelled East from there. But it wasn't used in pasta sauces until well into the 19th century, ostensibly first in Italy. We wacky Westerners didn't even eat tomatoes for a couple of hundred years, believing them toxic. I doubt the Uighurs had those kind of hang-ups. Let me be the first to advance the theory then, that the Uighurs are the true originators of pasta. The Uighur tomato-based pasta sauce made its way back West through the colonial trade routes and to Italy for further modifications. Any comments? This may wind up being my Ph.D. dissertation at Food Network TV University.
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/06/2003 02:35:00 AM| |

 

A lot of people are wondering what has happened to Saddam Hussein. It seems he has vanished into thin air. I'd like to throw out the possibility that he's found work at the NRA (National Rife Association). They need a president now that Charlton Heston had to step down, preferably one that likes guns as much as Chuck did. Saddam is a recently deposed ex-president who needs a group to lead. Plus, he LOVES guns. This looks like a match made in heaven.
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/04/2003 06:05:00 AM| |

 
MOVING PARTY!!!!! That's right! I'm extremely happy to announce I'm joining up with the Sinosplice network. John's put a great thing together over there and I'm excited to be a part of it. I'm glad that folks in China will now be able to access my blog without having to scramble around through a HavenCo proxy! So please update your links to my new improved Prince Roy's Realm. Or you can just click on the Sinosplice link at left and once there hopefully you'll see my banner in place before too long. I trust the move will go smoothly, but please be patient--I'm in the middle of my final final. Hey, as long as you're here roll up your shirtsleeves and grab a few boxes. Everything's packed and we just need to load it up in the U-Haul. I've got a couple of cases of ice-cold beer over at the new place so let's get to work. Gotta have the truck back by 6:00pm!
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/03/2003 01:36:00 PM| |

 
Good Lord anything but THIS, anywhere but HERE... I must be going nuts. I remember reading on a blog somewhere where the topic was "dream jobs". All the blogs I've happened across are starting to run together so if it was one of my reader's blogs I do apologize and ask that you remind me so I can properly credit you. It may surprise you to hear this, but I didn't always want to be a lawyer. No, really. Back when I was contemplating what to do with my life about four years ago I made a HUGE mistake: I told my wife the truth. You see, I just LOVE driving. I could drive all day. For me there's nothing better in the world than the freedom of the open road. I've driven cross country scores of times, many just for the hell of it. It impressed upon me like nothing else ever could what a beautiful country we have. Yeah, I'm a misanthrope at times and I can be a bit harsh towards my countrymen, but these trips invariably restore my faith that when all is said and done Mencius was right and Xun Zi was wrong. And so I thought why not combine this passion with a career? Why not get paid to do what I love? So one day at work I called the wife up. I felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Everything suddenly seemed so clear. I finally knew my true calling. So I just came out with it: I told her I wanted to go to truck driving school. Silence. I thought maybe she didn't understand so I repeated myself--this time in Chinese. Dear reader, you may not believe this but she burst into tears right there on the phone! To make a long story short, the law school applications went out in the next day's mail. And here I am. Well, long distance trucking may always be my unrealized passion but it isn't my dream job. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't have used my GI Bill to attend college and grad school. And unlike so many other fellow soldiers I knew, I wouldn't have cashed in my benefits on a whim in order to run out and buy a crap audio system or put a downpayment on a used Camaro IROC. I would have taken the chance and gone to Umpire School. That, my friends, is the perfect job. If you get to The Show, that is. MLB umpires have the best union in all of sports. They have the greatest seat in the house, they start at something like 125K a year for only six months' work, they fly first class and stay in the best hotels with a lofty per diem. Plus their pension is sweet. It's not easy to make it to the Bigs but I wish I'd taken a shot. There are two schools from which professional baseball hires its umps, and you can visit them here and here. Man, wouldn't that be the life!
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/02/2003 12:26:00 PM| |

 
I need to take a break. One exam is out of the way--two more to go. Frankly, I'm unconvinced that studying will do me much good anyways. Y'see, I've never been able to master the law school exam. My classmates definitely owe me a debt of gratitude, especially in our curved courses. Those ungrateful bastards have not expressed their thanks up to this point though. If it wasn't for law school screw-ups like me none of them would have jobs. The test today was brutal, and it happened to be my favorite class National Security Law, or as I short-hand it "Nut Sac". Originally, of course, it was "Nat Sec", so you can see how my degenerate mind works. Anyway, the professor who teaches the course is amazing--I'll be eulogizing him in this blog after I finish exams. He's leaving for Yale next year so I thought he'd want to go out on a pleasant note, but fat chance. He said he wrote the exam to take exactly three hours (actually 2.5 hours plus 30 minutes to organize) but I think only Learned Hand or [insert your favorite jurist] could've completed it in that time. It was 8 pages chock-a-block full of issues that were not at all easy to develop or address. It's not just me either, even the good students I spoke to after the exam thought it was outrageous. Too bad; most law school classes I could really give a crap about but I truly enjoyed this one, and so it's unfortunate that the exam I wrote does not reflect what I gained from his excellent course. Aiya, but it just fits my law school experience to date: "Thank you sir, may I have another..."
- posted by Prince Roy @ 5/01/2003 01:39:00 PM| |